CAMEL TOE

Giza, Egypt

Pyramids Adventure Day! Yay!

We woke up still jet lagged but forced ourselves out of bed so we could grab breakfast and meet our tour guide, Hany (pronounced similarly to “honey”), by 7:40am.

We got into the van, joined by our own personal security guard, who really did nothing but get us through security checkpoints a little quicker and keep our driver company when we were out and about, and Hany immediately started to educate us on Ancient Egypt. We drove out to the Step Pyramid of King Djoser and finally got to see the very first pyramid ever built.

(The Step Pyramid of Djoser)

A guard let us in to tombs usually off limits and allowed us to take a couple photographs of the original carvings. Of course, that meant a little “baksheesh” or tip, and luckily we had Hany along, who told us how much to give him and wouldn’t back down when the man kept pestering us for more. He finally left us alone when I gave him my pen—they do love pens here in Egypt.

(Note the baby hippo being born and about to be eaten)

(The guard leading Hany into a tomb)

Somewhere along the way at the Step Pyramid I gained the nickname Princess, which Hany very happily used throughout the day. And, upon leaving the Step Pyramid, a toothless tout tried selling me his postcards, and when that didn’t work, he offered himself as a husband. I said I needed a man with more teeth and we called it a day ;).

After the Step Pyramid we headed to Memphis to see many New Kingdom artifacts and statues, particularly of Ramses II who seemed to be extremely fond of himself. The man was everywhere!

On our ride back to Giza we were once again shocked by the poverty on the streets. The river looked so filthy, with people burning and throwing garbage into it, and right next to people throwing garbage were others fishing. Guh-ross. The streets were littered with trash and little kids were running barefoot through it like it was no big deal. Out of this world.

And with that it was time for lunch. We headed to the Sahara Restaurant, where we were the only people inside. Our guide, driver, and security guard sat at one end of the restaurant, and we sat at the other end. It wasn’t weird at all…really…

Miriam and I had been sitting at our table for roughly ten minutes or more, and suddenly Miriam said, “Oh my G-d.” I looked out the window at the traffic I thought she was looking at and asked her what she saw. She repeated her last statement, looked at me, and looked back out the window. And that’s when I saw it. The Great Pyramid was directly across the street…and neither one of us had noticed it!! Bahaha. So stupid. Awesome view! The view was much better than the food…Egyptian fare is not all that great so far…

(Um, really? How did we miss that?!)

Great Pyramid time!! Thankfully, lunch gave us some energy, and we headed over to the famous Pyramids of Giza. First stop, Cheops, otherwise known as the Great Pyramid. Hany made us climb up on the pyramid as high as I was willing to go…which wasn’t too high because I’m a total pansy… We then sang a little “When You Believe” from THE PRINCE OF EGYPT. We couldn’t help ourselves.

As he took more pictures Hany asked if I brushed my teeth every day and told me I needed to go to Hollywood with my smile. It became another theme. I’m the princess with the great teeth. Ha!

Hany also learned that we were willing to act ridiculous for fun photos. Hey, standing around and pointing at piles of rocks does not a fun photo make, right?? But acting like you are crushing them with your feet does. Or leaning on them. Or kissing them. Or pushing them over.

(MIRIAM, THE GIAAAANT-IANT-IANT!)

(I vill crush yu! bahaha)

We then made our way around the Pyramid of Khafre, where Miriam collected desert sand for the Jenny Jurek museum, and then off we went to the Pyramid of Menkaure. This pyramid is the smallest of the three pyramids, and we opted to go deep down inside it just to say we’ve been inside a pyramid. A man down in the depths showed us around where the sarcophagus had been kept, the storage chamber, and the very center of the pyramid. There wasn’t much down there, but it was still really cool. I had left my camera with Hany at the entrance because cameras are not allowed, but they never checked Miriam for her little camera, and we were able to sneak a few of us heading down into the pyramid.

(I was too tall and had to go down the stairs backwards)

(Miriam, on the other hand, was not too tall...)

Hany then took us to the panoramic view of the all three pyramids. It was pretty freakin’ amazing. We took lots of fun photos, and then Hany took us over to the camel guys. Time for a camel ride!

As Miriam was getting on her camel, Casanova, they were instructing her on what would happen when the camel stood up. I was not so lucky. I climbed on to 007 (yes, his name was Double O Seven), and he immediately stood up…and I was screaming and hanging on for dear life. They kept saying, “Relax, lady. Don’t worry, be happy.” So I started singing a little Bobby McFerrin to help me relax. It only worked a little bit. Our guides had fun teasing me the whole time.

We then took our camels down by the pyramids for some fabulous photo ops. Both Miriam and I got a little verklempt when we thought about what we were actually doing—riding camels in the desert while looking at the Pyramids. It’s pretty unbelievable. Thank you, Miriam, for this once in a lifetime experience.

(Camel toe. That's right. I did it.)

By the time we got back to Hany I was starting to feel a little better about being so high up. I don’t know what I’ll do when I actually get up on top of an elephant one day…Miriam, though, was a pro and had no problems.

Then we were off to the Sphinx. Hany found this boy who loves taking fun pictures of tourists and he was entertaining us by taking some inappropriate photos of us with the Sphinx. The little devil. We didn’t know what he was doing until we saw the photos. Pretty funny.

We stayed at the pyramids until closing time and then headed over to a perfume and essence shop. The guys there were very nice, and I got my first taste of mint tea. We then sampled a bunch of different essences. I really wasn’t interested in buying anything but felt guilty for their hospitality, and Miriam took my nervousness as wanting to buy, so we ended up purchasing some essence. Lotus flower. At least it smells pretty…And we got a really pretty hand blown glass container to store it in for free…

We were then taken to a papyrus museum where they showed us how papyrus sheets are made. How the ancient Egyptians ever figured that out I will never know. We ended up buying a couple painted sheets as the prices were really great and they gave us a two-for-one deal on top of it! One is a painting of Bastet, the cat goddess, and the other a picture of the Ancient Egyptian calendar.

With that, our day was complete. Hany dropped us off at the hotel, we stumbled into our room, kicked off our shoes, and called it a night.

We are on our own tomorrow. I’m filled with nervous excitement as this place is a bit intimidating with pushy people. I think we are going to try our hand at their metro system in the morning to get us into Cairo. It should be a learning experience!

Shukran and tisbah ala khayr! (“Thank you” and “good night”)